Discharged

Discharge to home.

Haemorrhage-stricken, primary and secondary complications, multiple aspiration events, NGT, more than bedridden, reduced motor capacity, reduced everything…

It is very hard and sad for him. But also not easy for everyone else around him.

The home front shall be an even grimmer battleground than what it was already.

Just when you thought things couldn’t get any harder, it does.

Life happens. Shit happens.

13 years to the month already. And still counting.

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放弃了八月 Giving up on August…

…and July, June, May.

As well as the last thirteen years.

It feels like I really am a thousand years too late 迟到一千年.

蘇打綠 sodagreen MV:

A Thousand Years Too Late
歌曲:迟到千年
歌手:苏打绿
所属专辑:单曲
词曲:青峰
编者:思露花雨

卮言春天 破碎秋千
踟蹰不如停止抱歉
再过秋天 烂了蜿蜒
红灯你搁浅
只是你迟到一千年
黄昏后就不会有夜
发间在印象中被蔓延
你说你放弃了八月
其实不需要蜻蜓点水
打昏自己食髓知味
吞了你用力一口下餍
捧起碗在倥侗增添
阖起厌倦 压坏了肩
缩成了点还是一条线
接近直觉 溺死诡谲
最熟最烂你的脸
只是你迟到一千年
黄昏后就不会有夜
发间在印象中被蔓延
你说你放弃了八月
其实不需要蜻蜓点水
打昏自己食髓知味
吞了你用力一口下餍
捧起碗在倥侗增添
(music)
只是你迟到一千年
黄昏后就不会有夜
发间在印象中被蔓延
你说你放弃了八月
其实不需要蜻蜓点水
打昏自己食髓知味
吞了你用力一口下餍
捧起碗在倥侗增添
只是你迟到一千年
黄昏后就不会有夜
吞了你用力一口下餍
捧起碗在倥侗增添

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https://dustysojourner.wordpress.com/2010/02/07/%E8%98%87%E6%89%93%E7%B6%A0-sodagreen/

https://dustysojourner.wordpress.com/2009/03/19/%E8%BF%9F%E5%88%B0%E5%8D%83%E5%B9%B4-athousandyearstoolate/

卧薪尝胆

有志者、事竟成,破釜沉舟,百二秦关终属楚;
苦心人、天不负,卧薪尝胆,三千越甲可吞吴。

It is bitter. Truly bitter.

And the back is breaking from a mountain of sticks crashing upon it.

But will fight and push and come out on the other side.

Watashi wa genki desu

Love Letter, 1995:

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Or at least, as well as can be under the circumstances.

Another middle of the night emergency two weeks ago. At least he is now out of the ICU, in the High Dependency ward, but soon to be moved to another hospital with a specialized hematology department. Daily visits and shifts now divvied out round the clock with the helper and the sibling.

But an ill-considered and panicked decision to lift his sagging dead-weight corpulence two weeks ago triggered my already shady back, back into spasms, hot sciatic lashings and burning cramps. Not just from my old L4-L5-S1 lumbar discs down to the feet and toes, but my new trouble spot of C6-C7 cervical through to the hands and fingers. And I had only recently battled back from this lumbar relapse and new cervical problem that very painfully set me back severely last year (Two steps forward, one painful stumble back).

And the sibling will not be available next week – a long-scheduled family trip with the little ones, which they are loathe to cancel. All while I am in the midst of a third-round interview process with an august asset management house, negotiations with two hedgies, and undertaking a trial with a prop trading outfit. So much for putting on a new face and walking my own road.

But all unsurprising and to be expected. Maya has never made it easy for me and her exquisite timing and finesse in inflicting maximum pain, grief and aggravation never fails. She will extract her pound of flesh… … or in my case, a pound of flesh, spinal bone shards, jelly-white disc innards, and a whole lot of white-hot whip-lashing sciatic nerve pain.

But now, I just sound like a whiner.

Watashi wa genki desu.

I Is Another

 

Je est un autre.
I is another.

-Rim

By that riffing, bawdy, Baud(y) Rim(e-r).

An aspiring seer and poet in his early years – intrepid coffee trader and arms dealer latterly.

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What faces did we used to wear in our past lives, or even within this present one?

The summertime of my life approaches its solstice zenith. Much work to do before my summer-fallow is done. That hallowed ground is not ripe for harvesting yet. Gotta keep my head tightly screwed on.
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Time to put on a new face.
https://aeon.co/essays/why-the-coming-of-age-narrative-is-a-conformist-lie

Life is a wave of events. You don’t come of age; you just age. To come of age is merely to live long enough to do so.

Although it flies in the face of what our stories have taught us for generations, a new understanding of coming of age, in which there is no direct path to maturity, no single ‘self’ that might be discovered or created, has the potential to be incredibly freeing. If one wishes, one can stand in the rain, watching a carousel, finally feeling grown-up. But, just as legitimately, one can simply experience it and enjoy it, and not feel the pressure to make anything of it all.

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Finding something else for one’s second half of life to be about is always respectable. After all,

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you wanna do with your life; the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives; some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.

-The Sunscreen Song

https://dustysojourner.wordpress.com/2011/06/16/at-fifteen-at-thirty-at-forty-at-fifty-and-the-sunscreen-song/

And, Specialization is for insects.
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Rimbaud did it.

As did Bawa.

da Vinci undoubtedly.

范蠡/Fan Li pulled off many diverse and accomplished careers and identities in a single lifetime.

And of course, that Carpenter turned Fisher-of-men.

I am in good company.

How many roads must a man walk down?

42

Bob Dylan – Blowin in the Wind:

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Blowin’ In The Wind -Bob Dylan – Lyrics:

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Instead of threescore years and ten, it may be some half fourscore and four now.

http://www.singstat.gov.sg/statistics/visualising-data/charts/life-expectancy-at-birth

Psalm 90:10 King James Version (KJV)

10 The days of our years are threescore years and ten; and if by reason of strength they be fourscore years, yet is their strength labour and sorrow; for it is soon cut off, and we fly away.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+90%3A10&version=KJV

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“I’m just gonna go… find something else for my whole life to be about.”

After all, I share the same initials as that two-headed ZB.

http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0007549/quotes

http://www.bbcamerica.com/anglophenia/2015/05/happy-towel-day-9-zaphod-beeblebrox-quotes-for-any-occasion

I is Fool – 憨人

心上一字敢 面对我的梦 甘愿来作憨人

DARE to BARE your heart – Face your dreams head on – Willing to be a Fool

五月天 Mayday【憨人 Fool】:

五月天

憨人

作词:阿信
作曲:阿信
编曲:五月天

我的心内感觉 人生的沈重 不敢来振动
我不是好子 嘛不是歹人 我只是爱眠梦
我不愿随浪随风 飘浪西东 亲像船无港
我不愿做人 奸巧钻缝 甘愿来作憨人

我不是头脑空空 我不是一只米虫
人啊人 一世人 要安怎欢喜 过春夏秋冬

我有我的路 有我的梦 梦中的那个世界 甘讲伊是一场空
我走过的路 只有希望 希望你我讲过的话 放在心肝内 总有一天

看到满天全金条 要煞无半项 环境来戏弄
背景无够强 天才无够弄 逐项是拢输人
只好看破这虚华 不怕路歹行 不怕大雨淋
心上一字敢 面对我的梦 甘愿来作憨人

我不是头脑空空 我不是一只米虫
人啊人 一世人 要安怎欢喜 过春夏秋冬

我有我的路 有我的梦 梦中的那个世界 甘讲伊是一场空
我走过的路 只有希望 希望你我讲过的话 放在心肝内 总有一天

我知影总会有一天

啦~~~

我有我的路 我有我的梦
总会有一天 总会有一天

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我有我的路 有我的梦 梦中的那个世界 甘讲伊是一场空

I have my own road – Have my own dream – But that world in my dream – After all is said and done, is but empty space

 

Soy un perdedor – I’m a loser

Things are gonna change, I can feel it

Beck – Loser:

In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey
Butane in my veins and I’m out to cut the junkie
With the plastic eyeballs, spray-paint the vegetables
Dog food skulls with the beefcake pantyhose
Kill the headlights and put it in neutral
Stock car flaming with the loser in the cruise control
Baby’s in Reno with the vitamin D
Got a couple of couches, sleep on the love-seat
Someone came in saying I’m insane to complain
About a shotgun wedding and a stain on my shirt
Don’t believe everything that you breathe
You get a parking violation and a maggot on your sleeve
So shave your face with some mace in the dark
Saving all your food stamps and burning down the trailer park
Yo, cut it

Soy un perdedor
I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?
(Double barrel buckshot)
Soy un perdedor
I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?

The forces of evil in a bozo nightmare
Ban all the music with the phony gas chamber
Cause one’s got a weasel and the other’s got a flag
One’s on the pole, shove the other in a bag
With the rerun shows and the cocaine nose-job
The daytime crap of the folksinger slob
He hung himself with a guitar string
A slab of turkey-neck and its hanging from a pigeon wing
You can’t get right if you can’t relate
Trade the cash for the beat for the body for the hate
And my time is a piece of wax falling on a termite
Who’s choking on the splinters

Soy un perdedor
I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?
(Get crazy with the cheese whiz)
Soy un perdedor
I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?
(Drive-by body pierce)
(Yo, bring it on down)

I’m a driver I’m a winner
Things are gonna change, I can feel it

Soy un perdedor
I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?
(I can’t believe you)
Soy un perdedor
I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?
Soy un perdedor
I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?
(Sprechen Sie Deutsch, eh, baby?)
Soy un perdedor
I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?
(Know what I’m sayin’?)