Watashi wa genki desu

Love Letter, 1995:


Or at least, as well as can be under the circumstances.

Another middle of the night emergency two weeks ago. At least he is now out of the ICU, in the High Dependency ward, but soon to be moved to another hospital with a specialized hematology department. Daily visits and shifts now divvied out round the clock with the helper and the sibling.

But an ill-considered and panicked decision to lift his sagging dead-weight corpulence two weeks ago triggered my already shady back, back into spasms, hot sciatic lashings and burning cramps. Not just from my old L4-L5-S1 lumbar discs down to the feet and toes, but my new trouble spot of C6-C7 cervical through to the hands and fingers. And I had only recently battled back from this lumbar relapse and new cervical problem that very painfully set me back severely last year (Two steps forward, one painful stumble back).

And the sibling will not be available next week – a long-scheduled family trip with the little ones, which they are loathe to cancel. All while I am in the midst of a third-round interview process with an august asset management house, negotiations with two hedgies, and undertaking a trial with a prop trading outfit. So much for putting on a new face and walking my own road.

But all unsurprising and to be expected. Maya has never made it easy for me and her exquisite timing and finesse in inflicting maximum pain, grief and aggravation never fails. She will extract her pound of flesh… … or in my case, a pound of flesh, spinal bone shards, jelly-white disc innards, and a whole lot of white-hot whip-lashing sciatic nerve pain.

But now, I just sound like a whiner.

Watashi wa genki desu.